My own personal definition of being supermomish has to do with the day-to-day operations of motherhood. However, every little part of the mommy process (pregnancy, birth, and subsequent parenting decisions) sets the tone for supermomish motherhood. And I'm going into this blog with bare-naked-honesty, so I should give you all the details. Starting with the very moment I became a mom. I'm fully expecting gawking from natural birth enthusiasts here, but whatev!
I'll be blunt. I had a c-section. Hmm, let me be more accurate. I chose to have a c-section. There of course, had to be a reason why because unlike Britney Spears I can't just say "yeah I'm gonna do it that way" and fork over the 15 grand when insurance turns down my unnecessary procedure. I had a tumor on my ovary. But did I NEED the c-section? No, I could have given birth as naturally as I wanted and then gone back 6 weeks later when I was whole & healed again and had a much smaller procedure to remove it. But you know what i was thinking? Who wants to have surgery, full-out, knock-you-out surgery, when you have a breastfed 6 week old infant? Certainly not me. I wanted it all done and over with. And there was of course, the perk of not doing the whole labor bit. The case can be made that the final decision was for me, because it was easier. So...did I do it because it was easier? Absolutely. And I have no shame in that.
It would be a lie if I said I didn't have a little guilt about not doing it the old fashioned way (I'm a mom, guilt is my middle name). But I'm totally over it. My baby came out "extremely full term" as they called him - weighing over 9lbs. He was healthy as an ox, and still at 4 months he gets A+ report cards at his doctor visits. And yeah...recovery sucked. Not gonna lie. But how awesome was it that I never felt a painful contraction? Pretty freaking awesome.
Here's the point. If I thought my baby would have been in danger for a second, I wouldn't have gone that route. I was assured that he was as healthy as a baby could be and we were both in good enough shape to endure the procedure. It was the most convenient route for our family, and since it posed no obvious risk to either of us, why not? This type of decision making can cover everything - from birth, to feeding, to diapering, bathing, sleeping, etc etc. But that's part of the guilt and unrealistic expectations we try to put on ourselves as mothers. We think that we should always be 100% (and yeah, we should try), but when something finally has to give and we choose to do one thing over another because the main reason is to make our lives simpler, it makes you a bad mom. But lets face it, sisters. Using disposable diapers instead of cloth so that we can spend more time cooing back at our babies is worth the trade off, don't you think?
Anyway. I just want to say, if you pushed your baby out the ol' baby cannon without a lick of pain killers, good for you. If you did it with an epidural, good for you. If you had a c-section, good for you. You gave life to another human being, and that's all that counts. It might make you a little more courageous for doing it naturally, but that doesn't mean the mom sitting next to you loves her baby any less.
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first of all i LOVE your blog name. ((thumbs up)) secondly WELCOME to MBC!! I am Obnoxious or you can just call me Donna. :) Thirdly, about your post. I have a few thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAWESOME on your honesty. :) I love that. I too had 2 c-sections. 1st one was emergency after being in labor for 11 hours. The 2nd c-section was by choice. HECK YES thank you I'll take a c-section and choose not to go through labor pains. OMG what a big difference that is. A pre-planned c-section is like a Disney World ride compared to the extreme stress and pain of your 'birth experience'
my aunt is HUGE in the birth world. she has served on boards of Doula Organizations and is how I know personally many famous pro-natural birth people in the birth world.
I tell my aunt all the time that c-sections should be the way to birth. she highly disagrees with me. I say the end result is all the same. We all win in the end. No one was giving out medals.
I am following you! :) can't wait to read what you have next.
Ive popped three little people into this world. The first was the old fashioned way, drug free and vaginal; the second was an induction I chose because 'I was uncomfortable'; and the third was an emergency c-section, 6.5 weeks early. I have some personal reservations about my c-section, but its because of everything that came with it. It took me some time to accept things, but I have come to terms with it all. Yes, I had a c-section, yes I had a preemie, yes I got sick, bla bla, but you know what? at the end of it all, I have a beautiful little boy. As long as hes healthy, Id go through anything again, without a question.
ReplyDeleteI had gestational diabetes and live in a state where c-sections are done more often than pap-smears. Therefore, I was "told" very early on that I'd be having one, based on my GD status. At first, that terrified me. I mean, I had researched the ever loving crap out of everything vaginal birth that I could. But once I schooled myself on the c-section and all aspects of that type of birth, I couldn't even imagine going back. That's not to say that I'm still not utterly fascinated and curious as to what I missed out on by not going it the traditional route, but as a previous commenter said, a planned c-section was literally heavenly for me, a neurotic hospital/needle-phobe who literally used to almost pass out at the site of a syringe. I won't lie though, my recovery was a bitch and a half. I am completely jealous of my friends who are able to squeeze out a kid and then walk themselves to the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteWe're currently TTC another kidlet, and the beauty of having already had a c-section is that I can electively choose to have another and insurance fully covers it. Let's hope that it goes as well the second time as it did the first.